by C.R. Bruce (@crbrucewrites)

​"Stalled" (eBook) is available for FREE for a limited time as part of the annual Smashwords Summer/Winter Sale promotion taking place July 1-31, 2016. Offer is only available on the Smashwords site. ​Use the code SFREE at checkout to get the book for FREE during the site-wide promotion! Click the  image below to go directly to the "Stalled" Smashwords book page.

 “Inventive, irreverent, and relentlessly funny. If John Hughes wrote a novel set in a high school boy's bathroom, this would be it.”
- Warren P. Sonoda, Director, Swearnet, Trailer Park Boys, Total Frat Movie

“Stalled, with its raw and authentic dialogue, credible characters and their compelling interwoven stories, is definitely worth a look.”
- IndieReader

It wasn’t that long ago that I had no idea what a Book Trailer was. I used to work in the film & video industry, but a Book Trailer video? Why?! I was clueless; never seen one, never heard of one. During my marketing research for Stalled, I made the discovery. I was intrigued. However, never in my life, for any of the countless books I’ve read, did one of them have a Book Trailer video. Or, maybe they did, but I was clueless about that too. Bottom line: no Book Trailer ever influenced my decision to buy a book.

So why make a Book Trailer video if it has zero influence on my purchasing decisions? Well, that doesn’t mean it never will. And that was in the past. It’s a brave new world  and people are making Book Trailers! First, some stats. During my marketing research, how many Book Trailers did I see that were good, i.e., made me more interested in the book? And before I answer, let’s state the obvious; Book Trailers, like books, like movies, like all art, is subjective. I loved Adam Sandler’s Pixels. Many would disagree with me. So, how many Book Trailers did I like? Two. The first ... I forget its name now, but it was shot like a scene from a movie. There was a damsel by the lake, and a monster emerged to swallow her. It was funny, clever, and had decent production values. The second was a masterpiece. But what else can you expect from a TV star? It was B.J. Novak’s (aka Ryan the Temp from The Office) black & white trailer for his book One More Thing: Stories and Other Stories. Check out the trailer here. It was so good, it shone the blazing light of reality on all the other Book Trailers whose production values and acting were less than stellar—which was too many.

I swore I would never make a Book Trailer unless it was as good as B.J. Novak’s, which meant I was never making a Book Trailer. I can make videos. I’m actually pretty good at it, but the time and energy it would take to equal B.J. Novak’s trailer was beyond me at this moment in my life, and maybe for all time. His trailer is just that good. The last thing I wanted was to make a Book Trailer with poor production values and bad acting. What’s the point? So I asked myself, how can I make a Book Trailer while avoiding the pitfalls that plague so many other trailers? I needed the Book Trailer to be fun! I needed it to look great! And I needed it to be free! Well, almost free. And Stalled presented other challenges as well. It’s atypical in style and setting; it has multiple protagonists—nothing traditional was going to work! What kind of trailer, outside of the brilliance of B.J. Novak’s frickin’ trailer, would I like? What’s cool? What’s hip? What have I seen online lately that made me laugh, or made me say, wow?

Cartoons! Animation, etc. That’s what’s hip and cool and different, am I right? Statistics say half of you disagree with me, but oh well. I didn’t see one cartoon/animated Book Trailer during my research, though I’m sure there’s a bunch out there now. Am I a skilled animator? No. Have I ever made a cartoon? No. This was all possible thanks to the animated video creation website, GoAnimate. With a bit of work, I could not only make a trailer that fit the tone of Stalled and looked top-shelf (well, in my humble and subjective opinion), I could make as many trailers as I wanted that looked top-shelf. Did it work? See for yourself and let me know. Ladies and gents, I present to you the first of the Stalled Book Trailers starring protagonists Rory, Todd, and Brent ...

The "Buy Your Copy" link will automatically take you to your local/national Amazon page. 

- C.R. Bruce
Stalled is available wherever eBooks are sold and in paperback from Amazon. 
Paperback ($13.99 USD); eBook ($4.99 USD)

© Christopher R. Bruce

“Inventive, irreverent and relentlessly funny ... a superbly spun story about one of the most horrific moments of your life: the high school reunion. If John Hughes wrote a novel set in a high school boy's bathroom, this would be it.”
- Warren P. Sonoda, Director, Swearnet, Trailer Park Boys, Total Frat Movie

“Stalled, with its raw and authentic dialogue, credible characters and their compelling interwoven stories, is definitely worth a look.”
- IndieReader

An apology for publishing late ... I’ve been sheepishly logging into my website, advancing the publishing date inch by thirty-day inch. I’ve postponed Stalled’s release month-by-month since ... January? I got the “J” right. June’s the winner!

If you prefer the Print edition ... you can only buy the paperback here from Amazon.com (or here from Amazon.co.uk). As of the writing of this blog post, you could not purchase the paperback from Amazon.ca, (only the eBook), which irks me because I’m Canadian. I’m hoping this situation changes. If it does, I’ll blast that news into the Great White North!

Own a Kindle? Purchase the eBook here from Amazon.com, here from Amazon.ca (yes! - the eBook is available on the Canadian site!), or here from Amazon.co.uk, or whichever worldwide Amazon site is affiliated with your country—the Kindle version should be available on Amazon everywhere.

Own an iPad? Purchase the eBook directly on your iPad with the Apple iBooks app (highly recommended)! Or find Stalled in the Apple iTunes store on whichever computer, laptop, or device you use.

Own a Kobo eReader? The eBook is for sale on Kobo everywhere, which means it’s also available here on the Indigo/Chapters website in Canada!

Own a Nook? The eBook is for sale here at Barnes & Noble.

Own another device, or prefer a different vendor? I’m using Smashwords as a distributing partner, and apparently the eBook should be available in all sorts of places, including (obviously) the Smashwords store. Other places you should be able to find Stalled now, or in the near future, are Scribd, Oyster, Flipkart, OverDrive, PageFoundry (Inktera), and Baker & Taylor Blio. You can see a full list of vendors on my website at www.crbrucewrites.com/buy.

Time to reminisce ...  It only took 15 years. It could’ve been never. As the guys from Monty Python’s Life of Brian would say, “always look on the bright side of life.” I’m hoping Stalled makes you laugh, makes you remember, makes you say, “ah ... yes, been there,” and makes you curious about what happens next. If you finish the book I’ve prepared some quick & easy yes/no poll questions on my website, www.crbrucewrites.com/polls. Some of your choices will help me write the sequel, so please take a minute and give me your opinion!

- C.R. Bruce
Stalled is available wherever eBooks are sold and in paperback from Amazon.com.
Paperback ($13.99 USD); eBook ($4.99 USD)

© Christopher R. Bruce

In honor of my upcoming 80s-themed novel, “Stalled,” here is a fun look back at teenage dating in the 1980s.

Dating is a ritual, full of traditions and tribulations. Every decade had its pros and cons, and maybe an argument can be made for the 50s, 60s, or 70s, but I wasn’t there. I grew up in the 80s. That’s my yard stick. Maybe I’m romanticising my own decade, but I think we were lucky. My girlfriend’s oldest son will be dating soon. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for him, but he’ll own one: a cell phone, or worse, a smart phone. Diabolical machinery. We didn’t have smarty phones in the 80s, or the ubiquitous social media network they’re connected with. Here are five reasons why the 80s were great and how smart phones ruined it:

1. WE WERE WRITERS & ARTISTS: Where are the love letters today? The kind written on real paper? With pen, pencil, or marker, the 80s teen crafted beautiful works of correspondence, aka notes. If a girl wrote the note, it was S.W.A.K - sealed with a kiss. She'd plaster on the lipstick and leave her DNA imprint. Then, she'd sneak it to you in class, braving discovery, confiscation, and humiliation. Handmade, handwritten, and from the heart, 80s notes were scrapbook-worthy. The whole creative, clandestine process was, in retrospect, romantic. That was the 80s. Today? Text or email. Handwritten notes are the equivalent of essays to today's attention-deficit youth. Why put your hand through the torture of making complex patterns on paper when a few taps, clicks, and short-hand acronyms will do? You get texts about work, weather, time, traffic, food, whatever, everything and anything—mundane stuff. How special is that? Umm, thanks for typing for five seconds? Something as important as hooking up should be planned, and re-planned, written, and re-written. Notes gave 80s teens time to think, consider, and weigh their words. It's dangerous to be reckless with your teenage heart! Unfortunately, smart phones gave teens the tools to act impulsively on any whim, dream, or desire. This has led to some embarrassing situations. Ever heard of sexting mistakes? Not an 80s problem. Notes win.

2. WE WERE NINJAS: Guess what we could do in the 80s? Hide. We could tell our parents we're going to the movies, but instead drive into the hills to make out. We could concoct lies amongst our friends, creating perfect BS alibis impervious to interrogation. Today's teens can't get away with this stuff. Why? Because they have smart phones. Smart phones can be tracked; GPS technology. Parents know exactly where their horny, lying teenagers are hiding. This is why teens receive that cool, expensive smart phone on their 13th birthdays. It's not for you, moron, it's for them. The irony is that they actually asked for the phone. 80s teens knew how to disappear.

3. WE WERE COMMUNICATORS: I remember talking on the phone with friends for hours every night. Two friends, three friends, four—whatever was necessary. And it WAS necessary. Teenage business is serious stuff. Back in the 80s, if you couldn't speak in person, you had one option: telephone (as in dialing and then speaking, not texting). And who controlled the phone? Parents. Hearing "Get off the phone!" was a nightly ritual for teens. Or worse, your mother picked up another phone and eavesdropped. Okay, that sucked. But that was the 80s. We talked and talked, and sometimes got caught (more on that later). Teens today can text under the covers all night if they’re sneaky, hours and hours of messaging. Why is that bad? Because when you text lol you’re not actually laughing. Texting is to communication like fast food is to nutrition. It’s verbal communication without non-verbal cues. For example, say you get the following text from your girlfriend, Where are you? That could mean, I’m worried, please check in. Or, You’re late. Hurry up. Or, ARE YOU CHEATING ON ME, ASSHOLE? You have to figure out her intent because you don’t have any non-verbal cues. You could text back, I’m sorry, babe. Everything’s fine. Or, On my way, be right there. Or, NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, NAG. The whole frickin’ relationship could depend on that simple text! How many relationships have blown up because a ‘joke’ text didn’t come across as funny, or he/she thought you were texting mad when you weren’t, or you texted the wrong person by accident? Yikes. This, dear readers, is a lament to the lost art of the phone conversation. 80s teens didn’t know it, but we were protected from relationship-killing texting goofs. And 80s teens didn’t like it, but we were forced to learn how to communicate on those archaic rotary phones. With a parental time limit hanging over our heads, we made every word count. We could spew out some real romantic BS when we wanted. So, here’s the breakdown of ideal communication methods. Gold: Face-to-face. Silver: Telephone conversation. Bronze: Yelling out the window. Runner-up: Texting. Side note: Recently, we’ve seen the rise of Apple’s FaceTime, which is essentially video conferencing on your smart phone. I’m reserving judgement because texting is still easier and doesn’t require you to look good (are looks important to teens? Duh). But maybe FaceTime will usher in the new age of teen romance. Or maybe it’s another technological avenue where things can go terribly wrong? See below.

4. WE WEREN’T GLOBAL: Earlier, I mentioned parents eavesdropping on phone conversations in the 80s. That was bad. But let’s compare. Did 80s teens with their hand-written notes, real-person telephone calls, and lack of cell phones have less privacy than today’s teenagers? Two words: Social Media. Let’s accept the premise that teenagers (of any decade) aren’t great at seeing the long-term consequences of their actions. Smart phones are full of ill-advised texts and photos, historical records of teenage shenanigans. Now let’s add a Facebook account, or YouTube; put that stuff on the ‘Net.  Bam. What can happen? Humiliation, suspension, lawsuit—you name it. You screw up on social media and not only do your parents and friends know, but everyone in your class > school > city > country > world knows. Ugh. It makes the 80s teen cringe. The stakes are too high. No second chances. No take-backs. The adolescent brain is not equipped. Modern teens, you have the 80s teen’s sympathy.

5. WE WERE LOYAL: Who remembers the phrase, “Will you go with me?” It was the 80s equivalent of “let’s go steady.” It was the big question, face-to-face. You had to have guts! Rejection was a real possibility, but it was the only way to formalize your love. Teen relationships in the 80s were like little marriages. Once you made that pact it was not easily broken. And if you broke it, you had to do it face-to-face, write a kick-ass note, or chicken out and have a friend do it for you. It was high drama any way you sliced it. How do teens hook up and break up today? Text. No biggy. They live in a Vegas world of instant marriage and divorce. A friend of mine told me that, according to his teen, asking someone out in person is considered poor form because you put the other person in an uncomfortable position. Say what? I smell a cop-out; texting is easier on both the rejected and the rejector. Modern teens have formed a texting alliance, a conspiracy to eliminate any relationship anxiety. Bodes well for their future. Not. Is it just me and my biased memory, or did 80s high school relationships have a certain stylized flare that oozed epic romance? Look at John Hughes’ library of 80s films, best of the HS genre, in my opinion: Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club, and Pretty in Pink. What’s the modern-day equivalent? High School Musical? Twilight?  Nice try. Anyway, that’s relationships, what about general plans with your pals? In the 80s, when you and your friends decided to do something you were committed! You couldn’t change your mind last minute and text, Sorry – can’t make it. Have fun, yolo. Break plans enough times in the 80s and you wouldn’t have any friends. 80s teens could stick to it, stick with it, and stay the course.

In conclusion, here’s my advice to the modern teen. Say no to smart phones, seriously. Have a basic cell phone for emergency calls, no texting, and leave the Star Trek version at the store, at least while you’re in high school. Buy a smart phone as a graduation present, or on your 18th birthday. This is the best advice you’ll ever get from a child of the 80s.

If you loved or hated the 80s, or would like to add to this list, feel free to comment here, Facebook, Twitter, or Google+. But not you, teens. You shouldn’t be on social media.

- C.R. Bruce

C.R. Bruce’s first novel, “Stalled,” is slated for release in late March, 2015. You can follow his progress to publication at www.crbrucewrites.com

© Christopher R. Bruce

By C.R. Bruce @crbrucewrites

Less than a year ago, I thought (well, I'd always thought) that self-publishing was a cop-out, an admission that your book wasn't good enough for a traditional publisher. Guy Kawasaki's book opened my eyes to the new reality: the self-publishing successes, the problems with traditional publishers, traditional publishers signing self-published authors, and shockingly, the successful authors moving to self-publishing.

There are incredible new options, tools, resources, and distribution platforms available to the savvy self-publisher: CreateSpace, Kindle Direct Publishing, BookBaby, Lulu, Lightning Source, Blurb, Smashwords ... I could go on. The power to 'do it right' is now in the author's hands, but you have to be, as Guy Kawasaki said, Author, Publisher, and Entrepreneur! Writing the book? That was step 1. Self-publishing a book that's equal to its traditionally published cousins is a long, intense, collaborative process, and really, more like ... waaaiiittt a minute. [Epiphany.] I'd been doing it for years! Self-publishing (the right way) is exactly the same as making an independent film (the right way)! Well, whad'aya know. Looking at it like this, I don’t know why there’d be any stigma at all. Let’s make some historical comparisons.

For years Hollywood was king, the gate keeper of the movie industry. Let’s call them the “traditional publishers.” But who remembers the digital video revolution? When high-quality video cameras and top-of-the-line video editing software became readily available? Anyone who wanted to make movies now possessed the technology to do it. And make them they did, lots of them. Let’s call them the “self-publishers.” Digital video democratized filmmaking. Along with the rise in the number of films being made, more distribution channels emerged. The film festival circuit expanded exponentially, indie cable channels, the internet, YouTube! These were all avenues the self-publishing filmmakers could use to get their movie seen. Sometimes Hollywood stepped in and bought rights to a great “self-published” film. Sometimes the “self-published” film garnered critical acclaim and launched the filmmakers’ careers. And, yes, sometimes the self-published film was lackluster and faded into obscurity. But so what? Isn’t that the way with all entrepreneurial endeavors? Sometimes you win; sometimes you lose?

Here’s the point. Amazon and companies like it have democratized self-publishing. Self-publishing a book today is no different than self-publishing an independent film during the last decade or two. Look at the bare bones of the indie movie-making process. First, you write the script. Second, you gather a team of professionals, cast and crew, to help you. Third, you shoot the movie. Fourth, you edit the movie. Fifth, you use every means at your disposal to market yourself and your movie so it’s purchased by a major broadcaster or distributor. And you do all of this on your own dime (if you live in Canada you might get lucky with government grants).

Now look at self-publishing books. First, you write the book. Second, you gather a team of professionals, copyeditor, editor, and designers, to help you. Third, you use every means at your disposal to market your book so that it sells, gets picked up by a traditional publisher, or launches your author career. Lots of similarities, am I right?

Whether you’re self-publishing a book or a movie, you’re betting on yourself. Yes, there are lots of sub-par movies and books out there as a result of the democratization of filmmaking and publishing (this is where most of the criticism comes from). This isn’t news in the entrepreneurial world; lots of products don’t make the grade. But this reality is accepted in the filmmaking world, so why not the writing world?  And even if you do everything right is it a long shot? Kinda (marketing is tough) but that’s why success feels good!

We’re all entrepreneurs, filmmakers and bookmakers alike, be it a good investment or a bad one.

- C.R. Bruce

C.R. Bruce’s first novel, “Stalled,” is slated for release in January, 2015. You can follow his progress to publication at http://www.crbrucewrites.com

An author photo is as much a part of our books as the dedication, acknowledgements, half-title, copyright, etc. Without that photo we’re just faceless word spammer bots. So of course my plan was to either a) Pay a professional photographer to dress me up and pose me by a lake or amongst the falling leaves of Autumn, or b) Repurpose my best selfie from the dregs of my Pictures folder. I confess, option ‘b’ had won. But that changed when I saw this post from Simone Collins (@SimoneHCollins) on Jane Friedman’s site.

My first thought was is this allowed? Aren’t author photos sacred ground must-haves in the category of ‘we accept no substitutes?’ It would appear, no; it’s author’s choice (unless a reader out there can offer an authoritative rebuttal?). Full disclosure, I personally don't know any authors or soon-to-be authors currently using portrait art for their author photos. I’m assuming they’re out there, but if not, I’m fine being one of the first soldiers of the revolution. So why choose portrait art over a photo? Simone offers many good reasons in her linked post, but I’ll let you read them for yourself. Here’s my take on it.

Writing a book, or APEing a book as Guy Kawasaki and Shawn Welch would say (see their book here), is a monumental achievement. The day you finish your book you'll feel like a king or a queen! Sadly, that feeling won't last long as self-doubt and insecurity creep in, but it will return in spurts. That's what being a writer is, alternating between feeling like the king of the world and a talentless hack, depending on the day. But what if you could capture that kingly or queenly feeling? Back in the days of Marie Antoinette and Napoleon they didn’t have Digital SLR cameras, iPhones, or state-of-the-art photo studios, but even if they did their castle PR people would have told them to go with the portrait. Why? Because a portrait captures your best self, your writing alter ego, a reminder of that confident, kingly person that started writing in the first place. Think of the effect a photo achieves when it’s changed from color to black and white. You can feel that, right? It produces a different emotional reaction. Now take that same visceral response and multiply it 10x for portrait art. Now you’re that super-somebody, a writer worthy of more than a two-second click and a flash of light. And why shouldn’t you be? You wrote a book! That’s an accomplishment worth trumpeting! You might not be Napoleon or Marie Antoinette, but you wouldn’t know it because you have a portrait. That’s the way I feel about my portrait anyway, and I feel that way as a reader too, as a fan. When I see a portrait it carries more weight with me than a photo. A portrait is rarer nowadays, unique. What do you think?

I haven’t yet decided where I’ll place my author portrait in my book. It’ll either be on the back cover, on the inside flap of the back cover, or inside the book in the front or back matter. Thoughts? Either way, I’ll have beaten the author photo blahs and the epic selfie fails. And you should too!

The artist, TheMeeDes, drew my portrait and I would highly recommend her as she is both efficient (quick!) and talented. Her portrait style was my favorite, but there are many different artists and styles to choose from on Simone’s websites: Art for Authors and ArtCorgi. Check it out for yourself.

- C.R. Bruce

C.R. Bruce’s first novel, “Stalled,” is slated for release in January, 2015. You can follow his progress to publication at http://www.crbrucewrites.com